When you first start dating someone, it’s usually a happy time. You’re both excited to get to know one another and optimistic that this will turn into something serious. But, as time goes on, things don’t always go smoothly. Many relationships hit obstacles along the way and cannot continue forever without some difficulties. If you are in a relationship, there will come a point when you realize that it is no longer easy or enjoyable. Instead of feeling uplifted by your partner, your interactions with them make you feel drained and uneasy – maybe even depressed.

If any of the following red flags appear in your relationship, you need to reevaluate your partnership sooner rather than later:

Communication Issues

Communication issues are often the first thing people notice when their relationship starts to go downhill. If your relationship has communication issues, you need to work on them as soon as possible. This can be a good starting point to figure out how to save your relationship before it’s too late.

1. You and your partner can’t get on the same page when it comes to subjects like values, desires, or goals.
2. You can’t talk about your feelings and desires without being met with defensiveness or judgment.
3. You don’t feel comfortable expressing positive and negative emotions without being labeled as “needy,” “hysterical,” or “overly emotional.”
4. You avoid bringing things up that upset you because you don’t want to “rock the boat”.
5. When you talk about hard things, nothing gets resolved. You eventually just give up.

Trust Issues

If you have constant trust issues in your relationship, your relationship might be in trouble. Trust is a crucial component to any successful relationship and without out, it’s unlikely the relationship will last.

1. When your partner tells you something, you feel anxious and guarded.
2. Something feels off.
3. You’ve caught your partner in lies.
4. Your partner isn’t taking accountability for lies they’ve told.
5. You don’t feel like you can be open and honest with your partner.

Lack of Intimacy

1. Your sex life is virtually non-existent.
2. You either feel rejected or pressured to have sex.
3. Sex is used as a punishment or reward.
4. There is little to no affection outside of the bedroom.
5. Conversations feel “surface-level” and lack any real depth.

Disappointment Over Expectations

In this busy, go-go-go world, it’s only normal that we won’t be able to get it all done. If you have reasonable expectations and still constantly feel disappointed by your partner, you may need to have a bigger conversation.

1. It feels like your relationship is full of disappointment.
2. You don’t feel like you and your partner are working together as a team.
3. You do so much for the household that you’re starting to wonder if your partner makes your life harder or easier.
4. It’s like pulling teeth to get your partner to help.

Addictive Behaviors

If you and your partner have addictions or behavioral issues that they refuse to work on or acknowledge, everything in your relationship will suffer as a result. It’s okay to love someone who has addictions or behavioral issues, but you need to make sure that they are working on their issues. No one is perfect, but you need to be sure that your partner is actually working on their issues.

1. You’re constantly frustrated and disappointed by your partner’s lack of effort and inability to change.
2. Your partner tells you they’ll change but you end up in the same place every time.
3. You feel uneasy when your partner starts to drink, or whatever behavior they struggle with.

Conclusion

The best way to figure out whether or not your relationship is on the rocks is to take note of the signs outlined above. If any of them apply to your situation, you need to reevaluate your relationship or visit a couples counselor. Remember that every relationship has its ups and downs, but if you notice any of these signs, it’s important that you try to work through the issues as soon as possible.