Couples And Marriage Counseling, Colorado

Couples Counseling in Lakewood, Colorado

About You

Your relationship’s been good…or, at least it was. When you argued, you were always able to make up, or at the very least, get along. But now, even though the person you love is right in front of you,

YOU JUST CAN’T SEEM TO GET THROUGH.

It feels like you’re getting further and further away from each other. You’ve tried to talk about it, but it only ends in silence and disconnection…or worse, a nasty conflict cycle that goes nowhere.

IT’S BRINGING OUT THE WORST IN YOU.

You feel trapped in blame, defensiveness, judgment and criticism. No matter how hard you try, you just feel so misunderstood and it feels like you need to specialize in communication just to make this relationship work.

What If Instead...

You had your best friend back? You were excited to see your partner at the end of the day? You shared the same goals and interests? Communication, though sometimes hard, led to resolution?

LET’S MAKE IT BETTER!

We can help you work through issues such as:

Support for ANY stage of your relationship.

How Do You Know If You're Ready?

START BEFORE YOU’RE READY!

Couples can benefit from couples counseling at all stages of their relationship…and, the longer you wait, the easier it is to fall into negative communication patterns.

What can you expect when starting couples counseling?

Even though every couple has different dynamics,
the first few marriage therapy sessions are typically pretty similar. We want to get to know you and the dynamics in your relationship. Let’s alleviate some of the unknown so you know what to expect!

Session 1

This is a 60-120 minute session designed to really understand your relationship and the pattern you’re stuck in. During this session, we’ll identify your biggest challenges and start to determine the changes that need to be made in order for your relationship to feel better. It’s also a time to get to know your therapist to make sure you feel comfortable moving forward.

Session 2

During our 2nd session, our counselors will meet with each of you individually. This is where your therapist gets an understanding of who you are as a person and what you’re bringing to the relationship… both strengths and challenges.

Session 3

Our 3rd session is our favorite! By now we have enough information to know where your struggles lie, and we’re you’re stuck. We’ll create goals and a vision in order to really get clear about what you want your relationship to look like, feel like and be like.

“If you don’t know where you’re going, you might wind up someplace else.”

-Yogi Berra

Even though other situations may come up, we’ll revisit this session frequently to make sure that we’re moving towards your goals.

Session 4+

All remaining sessions are 60-ish minutes and individually tailored to meet you where you are. Whether we are working on communication, trust building, lack of intimacy or something else, we’ll work at a pace that’s comfortable for you and your partner.

By the time we’re finished with couples therapy, you’ll understand the cycle that keeps you and your partner from feeling close and connected. You’ll know how to move out of stuck, unproductive and destructive relationship patterns.

With the tools we offer, you’ll have everything you need to have to feel close again.

Read My Welcome Letter

Getting in the RIGHT HEADSPACE from the moment you decide to start couples counseling can be one of the most important parts of starting the process. I send all my new clients a letter to help them get off on the right foot. This will give you a taste of what it’s like to work with us.

Does Couples Counseling Really Work?

Absolutely! We’ve helped transform 100s of relationships by moving couples from pain and isolation, to closeness and connection. It’s healthy to fight, but it’s hard to make up. Every couple we work with understands the natural, and necessary, progression of connection, disconnection and repair. It’s important to move through these cycles regularly, so you can get the gift of growth.

CONNECTION:
This is where couples are in a rhythm…they’re in sync. The relationship just works. But…believe or not, it’s actually not healthy to stay in constant connection and can be the birthplace of boredom and complacency.

DISCONNECTION:
Couples are out of sync. It’s like they’re on the dance floor and are constantly stepping on each other’s feet. Sometimes disconnection is subtle, while other times it’s more explosive, but basically, they’re just not seeing eye-to-eye.

REPAIR:
Couples are recognizing that they’re in disconnection, and attempt to solve the problem, validate the pain, and communicate the struggle. If that works, couples go back into connection and usually grow closer as a result. If it doesn’t work, couples go back into disconnection, until someone tries to repair again.

THE RESULT OF TRYING OVER AND OVER MAY RESULT IN LONG TERM DISCONNECTION AND RESENTMENT.

So, Imagine Instead That You Could ...

Regulate your emotions, and balance your partner's, so that you don't both feel flooded with overwhelming feelings that lead to something you'll regret.
Learn how to talk in a way that your partner can hear, and listen in a way that communicates your true, supportive intentions.
Gain a greater understanding of yourself so that you can apply relational boundaries in a way that fosters nurturing, as well as individuality.
Feel confident about repairing disconnection and hurt feelings.
Rebuild trust and fill your relationship voids with trust and empathy.

What if you could move seamlessly through connection, disconnection and repair?

THINK OF THE DIFFERENCE THIS WOULD MAKE!

In couples counseling, we’ll walk you through simple (though not easy) techniques involving the Gottman Method, Imago, the 5 Love Languages, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Relational Life Therapy.

By embracing your unique love language, and gaining an awareness of your defense mechanisms, you’ll start to gain a greater awareness of why you and your partner behave the way you do. The Gottman Method will teach you to understand how criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling are destroying your relationship and what you can do instead. Imago Therapy will help you understand how your own unique relationship footprint is impacting your couple dynamic. You’ll also have an opportunity to look at the ways that you were conditioned as a child and change the habits and patterns that no longer work for you. Relational Life Therapy will give you the tools to communicate with love, appreciation and compassion and teach you the reasons you might resist. Emotional Focused Therapy will help you understand your attachment style and how that impacts your relationship rhythm.

With the combined wisdom of our favorite approaches, our counselors are able to help you fix those nagging issues that are getting in the way of true intimacy. And while couples counseling can feel different at first, we try to make it approachable and even enjoyable. We have a lot of experience and like to create a safe environment for all couples.

But what if ...

We have an unsolvable problem?

It’s a relief to learn that John Gottman’s research revealed that 69% of a couple’s problems were unsolvable. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t things we can do. In couples counseling, we’ll teach you the exact process for embracing your differences with acceptance.

One of us is struggling with addiction?

Addiction, often thought of as a misery stabilizer, may need to first be addressed individually. Depending on the severity (abuse vs. addiction) some couples are able to safely express themselves in a way that increases understanding. This will help the relationship feel better, but unless we focus on the addiction, the progress will quickly plateau.

There's been an affair?

An affair is extremely difficult, but it doesn’t have to be the end of a relationship. By understanding the problems, struggles and issues that led to infidelity, couples can start to grieve, repair and renew the trust in their relationship.

I'm not sure if I want to be in this relationship?

If you’re on the brink of divorce, traditional couples counseling may not be helpful. We can start with Discernment Counseling and explore ambivalence through a 3-path process of awareness.

I can't get my partner to come?

Not everyone is ready to start couples counseling at the same time. 1st, try to understand why your partner doesn’t want to go. Address their concerns with open curiosity.

Once you’ve found a good marriage counselor, ask them if they can do a consultation to dispel some of your partner’s beliefs.

If your partner still doesn’t want to go to marriage counseling, you can still go by yourself and get A LOT OF VALUE. Think of it this way…you and your partner are dancing. It’s IMPOSSIBLE for the dance to look the same if you’re dancing differently. Your partner will have no choice but to respond to these changes.

We need something more intense than couples therapy?

If you’re looking for a faster approach, we recommend a Marriage Intensive. Knot Counseling offers 1 + 2-Day marriage intensives to help you understand the root cause of your struggles so that you can quickly break through the hurt and heal your relationship.

Free Consultation

We don’t believe in a one-size-fits all approach.

It’s normal for couples to find themselves facing challenges as their relationship grows and changes over time. At Knot Counseling, we use evidence-based techniques to help couples understand each other better, connect on a deeper level, and build upon the strengths of their relationship.

But…here’s where we differ. After years of doing marriage therapy, we’ve learned surface level communication skills may not always create lasting change. Knot Therapy helps couples change their patterns by addressing the deeper issues that might be surfacing from trauma, addiction or other struggles that impact a relationship.

So, whether you and your partner are going through tough times or looking for a way to strengthen your relationship, Knot Counseling can help you get rid of those negative feelings and put you in a place where you can build a stronger connection with your partner.

If you’d like to schedule an appointment or discuss any questions you may have regarding couple counseling, call us today for a FREE CONSULTATION.

Let’s make things better.