No matter how many times you fall down, it’s always possible to learn from your hardships. Resiliency has the ability to turn certain events into growth opportunities, even when you feel like you don’t have a way out. A resilient mindset can turn your misfortune into your next big break so that you can grow from the experience. This isn’t something that comes naturally to all of us.
Some people just seem to handle stress and bad news better than others, while others tend to blame themselves when things go wrong or crumble when life gets tough. Building resilience in yourself takes effort, but it can pay off if you keep at it—both now and later in life.
What is Resiliency?
Resiliency is when we get back up after hard things happen. And when we get back up, we are different and with more knowledge than we had before. Resiliency is hope. Opportunity. Growth. A resilient mindset says, “Is this happening to me, or is it happening for me.” It’s not about if hard things happen, it’s about how you recover after hard things happen.
See The Opportunity
When things fall apart, an opportunity is created. It’s a chance to take stock of your life, learn from that aren’t working, discover what you’re truly passionate about, and find ways to create more meaning in your life. When things are broken, you get to choose how to put it back together.
But here’s the misconception…when you put it back together, it will never be the same. Your job will never be the same. Your relationships will never be the same. Your life will never be the same. Things will not go back to normal, because normal is gone.
EMBRACE THE CHANGE. STEP INTO IT.
Maybe you needed a little “falling apart”. Maybe you were skating by in status quo…complacency. Living your life “just fine”.
In 2020, things fell apart. Even with the most positive of mindsets…things got hard and many people felt defeated. At times, it was hellacious. I don’t have to remind you. 2020 tore down the walls. And yes, it left a mess. It’s still leaving a mess.
But what if those walls that were torn down were actually barriers. Do you ever realize how walls stop you in your tracks and lead you to thoughts like, “I guess this is just the way it is.”
Now, without those wall, we’re looking at wide-open spaces. With the walls down, it’s time to rebuild. What do you want your life to look like?
THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY!
This is an opportunity to create…to RECREATE. Look at your life. What wasn’t working? What do you want to change or build?
How to be resilient
Maya Angelou said, “I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.” And yes, we will change. And when the dust settles, how do you want to be? What do you want to be like when you come out on the other side? Do you want to rise, or be reduced?
We all face challenges—it’s a fact of life—but if you don’t have a resilient mindset, those challenges could knock you down for good. Answer these questions to build resilience into your life so that no matter what comes your way, you have an inner strength that allows you to bounce back from anything life throws at you.
- What does resilience mean to you? Yep, let’s define!
- What’s the opposite of resilience? (So we know where NOT to go)
- What thoughts are you having that are contributing to your hopelessness?
- What thoughts have you been having that are contributing to your resiliency?
- What difference will having resilient thoughts make in your life?
Resiliency Is Hard
In the event that you’re feeling just a tad too beat down, it’s ok to reach out for help. The key is to never give up on yourself. The process of resiliency isn’t easy, and takes time, patience, and for many people, training. A licensed therapist can help you develop skills like mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to learn how to deal with your negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Knot Counseling, in Lakewood, Colorado, helps people identify what’s getting in the way of their own resilience. With individualized treatment plans, you can work to step into the best version of yourself.