Trying to fix a broken marriage is hard work. Sometimes, you need to take a step back and be patient with yourself and your partner. And at times, it can feel like you’re the only one struggling to hold things together — but it doesn’t have to be that way!
Getting your spouse to talk about your relationship might seem like a daunting task, especially if you’ve been through some challenges recently. But don’t let that deter you from having a conversation with them about how things are going. There’s no magic formula to fix a broken marriage; it takes hard work and lots of patience. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible! If both parties put in the effort, you’ll be able to repair the damage and move on from past disagreements.
Keep in mind that this isn’t going to be a quick fix. The process of fixing a broken marriage takes time—lots of time—and the steps outlined above are simply some suggestions on how you can start. But they’re just a start. Ultimately, it will boil down to your own personal situation, and what you and your spouse need to achieve true healing.
Patience
When you’re trying to fix your broken marriage, the most important thing is to be patient. This can be easier said than done, especially if your spouse won’t cooperate or refuses to acknowledge the issues you’re trying to resolve.
- Start by being kind and understanding; remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place; and work as a team to solve your problems together.
- Imagine that your changes are like learning a new dance. You might feel like you’re working REALLY hard at learning the dance and it will feel defeating if you’re moving at a different pace with your spouse. You may, at times, feel like you’re not getting anywhere. Keep at it. It’s Impossible for your spouse to keep dancing the same way if you’re moving differently.
You’ll never be able to fix a broken marriage overnight; but if you’re patient, it’s possible to bring joy back into your marriage again.
Forgiveness
To fix a broken marriage, forgiveness is one of the most important things you can do. Look deep at the resentments you’ve been carrying around. I like to imagine that each one of these resentments is like a wet rag that’s been thrown and buried deep. Forgiveness requires getting these rags out and airing them out. The damage may be done, and that will never change, but that doesn’t mean you have to carry all those “wet rags” around with you everywhere you go.
So what does this look like? It could be sitting calmly with your partner and saying, “ I have some things I’m still hurt about. Some things that still bother me. Can I get a few things off my chest?”
Another possibility is to see a therapist. Tell them that you’re carrying around heaviness and you need to get some stuff out.
The important thing to remember is that forgiving your partner doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened. And it isn’t about condoning the harmful actions of someone we love — it’s about choosing to live in a way that serves us!
Connection
Connection is like the basement of a house. If you’re missing connection and friendship, stop everything and start there and start rebuilding if you truly want to fix your broken marriage.
Though periods of disconnection is a normal part of relationships, it’s important that you don’t give up on each other.
Try being more open with your feelings by saying ‘I love you’ more often or showing affection such as kissing or hugging. You might also want to set aside time every week when you can sit down together over dinner without any distractions such as cell phones or laptops. Tell each other how much you care about them, tell them what they do that makes you happy or smile, and find out what their favorite memories are from when they were younger.
It’s also important for couples to have shared interests in order to grow back together. Having common passions and interests keeps people close and connected. It keeps couples interested and interesting,
Fix a Broken Marriage
Relationships are hard (at times), but they are also a major part of life. They should not be taken lightly and should be nurtured to ensure they continue to flourish, even in difficult times. We hope these tools, tips, and ideas help you on your way to healing.
If these ideas just scratch the surface, it may be time to start couples counseling. Knot Counseling in Lakewood, Colorado specializes in helping stuck couples go from disconnection, to repair. Our big-hearted counselors would love to talk to you about what therapy with us is like and if it could help fix your broken marriage.
