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The Essential Rules for Making Friends with Benefits Work

friends with benefits rules

Friends with benefits! Wait, is that a real thing? Well, I’m not sure it started out that way, but now, after joking about it for so many years, I think it’s finally making it’s way into our permanent vocabulary.

So, what is friends with benefits? This type of relationship allows a person to get their sexual needs met without any of the usual entanglements of a traditional romance. It may sound like an ideal situation for some people, but it’s not as easy as it sounds; enacting a friends-with-benefits arrangement is much tougher than it may appear. It’s often difficult to keep the physical and emotional aspects of the relationship separate, so it is important to be mindful of all involved and ensure no one’s feelings are hurt.

If you’re considering establishing a friends-with-benefits arrangement there are still some essential rules you’ll want to follow if you want it to work out. Here’s what you need to know:

Rules for Friends with Benefits:

1. Speak Honestly

2. Select a Person Wisely

3. Refrain from Spending the Night

4. Have Discussions About Intimacy and Exercise Caution

5. Come Without Any Assumptions

6. Establish Limitations

7. Maintain Open Communication

8. Avoid Jealousy

9. Maintain Other Dating Relationships

10. Assess Your Emotional Maturity

11. Avoid Friends with Benefits if You Already Have Emotional Attachments

12. Be Aware of Individuals with Narcissistic Tendencies

Communicate your expectations

Before you get started, it’s important to communicate your expectations. Talk about what you want from the friendship (e.g., fun times, support, sex) and what they want (the same or something different). Then talk about how often you’d like to see each other–if at all–and what sort of relationship would be ideal for both of you. This can be scary because it requires vulnerability and trust, but if both parties are honest with themselves and each other then things will go smoother in the long run.

You should also lay out some ground rules so everyone knows what’s expected when they’re spending time together: don’t text me at 2 AM unless there’s an emergency; I won’t call unless we’ve made plans; etcetera.

Finally, make an agreement that if you decide to stop seeing each other, there won’t be any hard feelings or resentment whatsoever! It may seem like an easy promise at first glance but it’s actually quite difficult because nobody likes feeling rejected by anyone else no matter how much we claim otherwise.

Don’t expect too much from each other.

The best way to avoid problems in a friends with benefits relationship is by not expecting too much from your friend. The goal here is to have fun, not to create a relationship that’s more than it needs to be. If you’re looking for something serious, then this type of arrangement probably isn’t right for you. Friends with benefits relationships should be casual and fun–not stressful or difficult.

Don’t go into this expecting to get married, to be exclusive or to be best friends. Also… don’t expect a relationship with no strings attached — there will always be some sort of emotional attachment when you’re sleeping together, even if it’s just friendship!

Remember that there are other people in the mix: your partner might want something more out of the relationship than you do, or vice versa. If either of these things happens and one person starts getting hurt feelings about it, then things could get messy fast…and maybe even end up ruining what was once a really fun situation! So my advice would be not only not expecting anything from each other but also making sure that neither person has any expectations at all–just take things one day at a time and see where they lead us!

Have an exit plan.

Make sure you and your partner both agree on how the relationship will end. It can be easy to get carried away in the moment, so it’s important to talk about what happens after things get serious–or if they don’t. Be specific about how you’ll communicate with each other about the future of your friendship-with-benefits arrangement, whether that means talking it out or just letting things happen naturally.

Similarly, both partners should agree on what will happen after their FWB relationship ends. Will they remain friends? Will they go back to being acquaintances? Or are there no hard feelings at all? If one person wants more than what was agreed upon (or less), it might cause tension between them later down the road when things change unexpectedly.

The Benefits of a Friends with Benefits Relationship

Friends with benefits relationships can be a lot of fun and there are many benefits to having one. Here are a few of the benefits of having them:

  1. You can enjoy physical intimacy without the stress of a long-term commitment.
  2. You can be open and truthful with each other.
  3. You don’t have to worry about the relationship getting serious.
  4. You don’t have to worry about jealousy or possessiveness.
  5. You can enjoy each other’s company without any strings attached-kind of.
  6. You can still be friends even if the physical relationship ends.
  7. You can learn and explore new things about yourself.
  8. It’s a great way to explore physical intimacy and have fun without worrying about the commitment.


Friends with benefits is a great way to get what you need from a relationship without all of the drama. If you are looking for something casual, this could be the perfect option for you. Just remember to set clear boundaries and communicate often so that neither party feels taken advantage of or cheated out of their needs being met!


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